Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
my poor anus
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
Randomize
