I am in a vortex of obligation.
What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
Randomize