I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
My vagina just recognized that song.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
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