he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
Randomize
