i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Randomize
