is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
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