yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
