I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
I'm sobbing to NWA
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
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