every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
Randomize
