Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
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