i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
