quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
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