the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize