Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Randomize
