Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Randomize
