Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
