great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
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