i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
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