Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
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