you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
Randomize
