ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
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