Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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