I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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