I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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