oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
