your room smells of hookers.
And success
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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