Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
