wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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