Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
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