My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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