i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
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