so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
Randomize
