i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
not ubering you a puppy
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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