We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
