You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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