here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
Randomize
