kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
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Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
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