Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
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