She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
Randomize
