if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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