he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
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