it wasn't lemon gatorade
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize