the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
Randomize
