We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
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