Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
Randomize