You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
Randomize
