East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Randomize
