Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Randomize
