i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
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