I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize
