so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
I AM VODKA MAN
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
Randomize
