In the future we'll all be gay
so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
