have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
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