how do flat chested girls get laid?
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Randomize
