Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
