I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize