Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
