i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
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