im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
