Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
