Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
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