i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
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