I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Randomize
