I want to have your abortion
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
Randomize
