I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
oh god was she eating orange peels again
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
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