so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
Randomize
