Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize