i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
Randomize
