Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
I'm gonna have a badass scar
Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
Randomize
