He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize
