Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize
