His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
Randomize
